NEW YEAR’s resolution… TO WRITE OR NOT TO WRITE… here we go again!

2019.


It has been 21 days. The first month of the year is almost over. I wanted to write as soon as the year clocked in but got busy with family, friends, work, love. Kidding!  As expected, my first new year’s resolution, which is to WRITE as soon as,  was an “epic 21 days later fail”. Because doing nothing was hard. And while i was pondering why am i not following my heart’s desire to write again, just toying with lazy days and finding excuses, somebody grabbed and knocked some sense out of me. Not in a threatening way, not physically, nor even bribery (honestly, i hoped it was! 🤑), but just words. Her words done in repetition, had put me strongly in this position. I sat down, opened my laptop, stared at it, stood up, brewed some coffee, checked my phone, checked the time, sipped the now ice cold black coffee, read a chapter in my current bedside book, checked the phone some more, and then finally, came back in front of my lappy, started typing words away.


What should i write? Okay, just let me backtrack for a minute. I used to write, five years ago. I had a blog, STORY OF MY LIFE. Cliche, but that was the truth. The story of my so-called-life. Then. That blog were mostly book reviews, since i was a big reader. Most of them were just my humble opinion. Purely my feelings about a certain book, loved it, hated it but never thrashed or abandoned. I wrote with all of my heart’s content, not minding if somebody will read or care for them. It all changed when i was asked by a budding author to review her first book. Can you imagine my joy? All i want was just to write and express myself and suddenly, somebody wants to hear my opinion. An honest review was all she needed and that gave way for me to write some more serious notes. Stepped up my game in writing, maybe i had potentials, too. Or so i thought at that moment.


Second push was when i was featured in one of my co-bloggers account. He asked me to write about a book called “Why We Broke Up” by Daniel Handler. When i scanned my reviews, i realized it was never featured in my own blog. Coming days, i will put it up. It was one of my “feel proud” moments. Was I that lucky or what?!


Beside book reviews, i tried my hand in travel writing. Accounts of my personal trips, narrated in a way of sharing my experiences, pictures and ideas. Little did i know, i was able to help some people in their actual traveling too. What a joy to know somebody’s paying attention!


I also worked on poems and short stories. Mostly were my personal experiences. People that I know of, places that i’ve seen, feelings that i’ve been through. The more emotional i got, the more feelings came to life. Sometimes happy, sometimes sad but at the end, it was fun writing them all.


But as you know it, life is not always rainbow and sunshine. While i was being successful in other areas of my life, my heart was shattered into pieces. I was dumped by the only man i truly opened and gave my heart to. I took the blow hard, was knocked out for a very very long time. My life, my choice. My reading suffered, my writing dwindled. Until the day it stopped all together. Hence again, five years ago. Story Of My Life was buried under the virtual ground.


My love for books has recovered, but my writing stayed in the slump. I never attempted even once. Even though my heart was already healed long time ago, i remained passive when writing is concerned. Until late last year.


Eye-opener.


The last two weeks of 2018 were the most challenging for me. We had some unforeseen events regarding our family travel. It was one-year-in-the-making type of plan and 2 days before the schedule, something came up. Something that needed a quick but right decision. I had to do an all-nighter to make it all work. In the end, i pulled it through. Everything went smoothly. That was when my sister kept on suggesting i should write again. May i quote it from her own words, “You owe it to the netizens.” A funny remark but something tugged at my heart. I shrugged the idea because it was too funny. I questioned her how exactly did i owe it to them? Days passed, still that tug. I felt haunted but excited and scared as well. Still questioning myself but slowly answering to the call… Can i write again? Can i really write again, if not better, at least in the way that i used to? Will somebody care to read? I am just a nobody. If so, will it be useful, readable and interesting for them? So many questions it took me days and night, thinking.


Shoulda. Woulda. Coulda.
Will i know the answer if I won’t try? Of course not!


I guess, i finally made up my mind since i am here now. A revival, redemption, a beginning. An upgrade if i may call it. Better version of me. I had to choose whether i will create a new blog or just stick to this one. I chose the latter. I am bringing back this blog to life, so as my life will bring back many things to this blog. I may have done a few changes but this is still me. Only, this is not just about the story of my life. This will be about the dreams i turned into reality, the ones i will be turning into as i go through this journey. Imperfect as this may seem, I hope and pray that i can encourage and inspire more people. I wish to see you around chasing dreams as i do. After all, i am the Dream Chaser. Let us all be. 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

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