Sun? If it wont give you the sun, i don’t know what else, since this is one of the most illuminating reads i had ever set my eyes on. No confusion at all, just the right flow of the story. Jumping back and forth of the past and present between the two main characters is sometimes confusing but not Noah and Jude. Their parts were totally aligned, even the POVs were clear as daylight. You know who was telling the side of the story and you immediately jump to his or her account. You immediately relate and you instantly become him or her. Noah or Jude, it doesn’t matter.

And why wont you become Noah and Jude? They are interesting characters. Both of which are lovable, witty, funny and artistic, but imperfect in their own ways. Nasty and sometimes cruel, there’s always a reason behind those acts. The end justifies the means, as they always say, but these flaws were the ones that made them whole in the end. Both broken but finding their pieces. Situations and things helped them find and put them back together. CSA, Devil’s Drop, studio, the church and its pews, Woodbird, leather jacket, meteriotes, ladder and rooftop, oranges and onions, sketches and sandwomen. But mostly, people helped them. “Maybe some people are just meant to be in the same story,” no matter how odd their part will be. Mom and Dad, Brian, Oscar, Guillermo, even the parrot too.

One of the more entertaining reads, if i may add. Why so? Because of how the author used words to describe. A lot of words, actually, but thats the point. Clear and lucid and very picturesque. In my mind, Noah and Jude became alive. I love how she painted the world in Noah’s sketches, Noah’s broken heart and broken dreams. I love how Jude turned herself and her world upside down, and back up again. I love how detailed she become when it comes to setting the mood, the feels, the aches and pains, the elated joy, the overall emotions in the story, rollercoaster ride or calm as a still water. I love how smooth the transition even though the scene was heartbreaking or overwhelming. I love. I love. I love. I could go on and on, but i really would want you to experience it by yourself. That laughing out loud, that harrumphing when annoyed, that disappointed and broken feeling, that squeals and feels for delight, disgust, or mixed emotions. She showed them all, quite comprehensibly.

I cannot help but to love Jandy Nelson, more and more! This is the second book that i read from her, THE SKY IS EVERYWHERE, being the first.
I remember how confused I was with her word-building and too much descriptions back then but now ive realized that was the secret. She did it on purpose so you can thoroughly enter the world she wants you to see and live in. That book took me by storm. I remember how i loved her characters back then, Lennie and Toby, big no. But Lenny and Joe, big yes. Joe Fontaine is such a sweetheart.

But I’LL GIVE YOU THE SUN is another masterpiece. NOAHandJUDE.
I just finished reading minutes ago, and i sure feel the good vibes that it left behind. So go ahead, turn that very first page. Let’s start remaking the world.


Categories: authors, book review, books | Tags: , | 5 Comments

49. WE WERE LIARS by E. Lockhart

No.  I don’t have any ideas to give you about this book.

I never read this, never ever saw this my entire life.  Sorry.

But wait, yes, maybe i have because I remember it’s about dragons? or vampires? or elves?

It is about the doctor, kidnapped by aliens.

Or shadowhunter Jace frenchkissing Anna.

I don’t remember at all.  I’m not sorry, though.

Ahhhh, the life story of Pinocchio or Jim Carrey, just pick one!

I feel that i know something about this book, I think I dreamt about it last night.

But i didn’t sleep last night at all, I partied the whole night through.

You think i’m just inventing this but all the while i am saying the truth.


In the beginning, even Adam and Eve lied to God that they ate the apple,

Possibly, WE WERE LIARS, we are their sons and daughters after all.


we were liars



Mysterious. Puzzling.  Don’t ever read reviews or anything about this, it might spoil the fun or sadness, for that matter.  Do what i did, when i got the book, i just dove right in! Don’t be bothered by the words, they will connect the dots for you.  You will have  a lot of assumptions, but everything will fall into its places, don’t worry.  Just read on and then you’ll know, then you’ll understand.It was a tragedy, but then it’s beautiful. I laughed when it ended, but probably i’m just lying.


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48. ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK by Piper Kerman


Now watching:  ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK Season 1 Episode 5 : THE CHICKENING

I must say that i am pretty much enjoying the first few episodes of this not so latest series of Netflix.  I know, it is already on it second season since it premiered last year, but I just got my hands on it last month.  And boy, ive been impressed!  It was an overhaul version of the book that i just read last month, but still I am quite thrilled to see these girls come alive in the tv screens.  Well, they did a lot of changes, major ones, like the names and the sequences of events, plus the characterization of each and every people Piper met while doing her time in jail, but still I cannot shake the fact that i already did have an idea before i watch them on tv.  This version is quite more explicit than its written counterpart, since it is more visual and vivid, seen by the naked eyes.  But honestly, im hooked.  Taylor Schilling is really fit for the job.

I am really looking forward for more wonderful episodes of OITNB.  Not that i want to experience it myself in real life, though!



Orange is the New Black book cover


“With a career, a boyfriend, and a loving family, Piper Kerman barely resembles the reckless young woman who delivered a suitcase of drug money ten years before. But that past has caught up with her. Convicted and sentenced to fifteen months at the infamous federal correctional facility in Danbury, Connecticut, the well-heeled Smith College alumna is now inmate #11187–424—one of the millions of people who disappear “down the rabbit hole” of the American penal system. From her first strip search to her final release, Kerman learns to navigate this strange world with its strictly enforced codes of behavior and arbitrary rules. She meets women from all walks of life, who surprise her with small tokens of generosity, hard words of wisdom, and simple acts of acceptance. Heartbreaking, hilarious, and at times enraging, Kerman’s story offers a rare look into the lives of women in prison—why it is we lock so many away and what happens to them when they’re there. — goodreads”

MEMOIR. the first that i was able to read one. in all honesty, i was excited to read this because of its Netflix’s adaptation. i heard about the book mainly because of the show. As much as i wanted to dive into watching, i would really want to have a headstart by scanning through it. hence, i listened into its audiobook counterpart. What did i get? Yes, a true-to-life-story, personal experience, blow-by-blow updates of a day-to-day life inside prison. Though it was very factual and informative, i lost track of all the names and their doings. Yes, some of them stuck to my mind because Piper was constantly mentioning them, but unfortunately, the way she sometimes narrated, truly confusing. Jumping from one topic to another, the flow was just frustrating to follow through. it was because she wanted to put all of those details, even the most minute ones, to emphasize, or rather to squeeze in the one year chock of informations about her imprisonment.

The book was really an eye opener for me. though, it happened at the other end of the geographical world, far from my local home, i believe it doesn’t fall far away from the realities and actuality of the situations, also happening in every prison cells in my country and others. the book revealed most of the unfairness and mistreatment, racial discrimination, impartialities of the justice system.

Though, Piper seemed to get away from the harsh truth of being confined in jail, by being helpful and friendly to everybody, by constantly using her good and charmed looks, by befriending who’s who while inside, and by being tagged as rich, blue-eyed, white blond who almost got everything she wanted, there was no mistaking that still, she lost some of her good months away from her family and loved ones. nobody dreams of going into jail, thus i assumed that in that one year, she really learned her lesson well, along with other useful crafts she did inside.

The conclusion tugged my heart, as the reconciliation with Larry gave a wonderful feeling. i just wish she mentioned more of the life outside, especially with all the bonds she formed with other inmates, i just wish she remained in touch with them. because in a lot of ways, these women had impart life wisdoms to her that she will carry through and remember for the rest of her life.

I’m glad, somehow, i knew one Piper Kerman out there.

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47. SECOND CHANCE SUMMER by Morgan Matson

second chance summer


The plot is not something as new and not extraordinary. In fact, it has the common theme of family, love and friendship drama. Just the heavy topic of death hovering the lead page. But the simplicity of how it is written, of how it is centered on one place, made the story personal, heart-melting even.

It mainly focused on the family aspect. While struggling to accept the fact that a loved-one might be gone in 3 months or four, the whole Edwards family went back to their old summer house in Lake Phoenix, after 5 long years. Mom, Dad, Big brother Warren, Little sister Gelsey and Mid-child Taylor. All were used to the comforts of the city and their individual busy lives there that when they found out that Dad has stage 4 cancer, it was decided that they should spend the summer, the “maybe-last summer” together in the familiar and homey place of their lakehouse.

Unwillingly, Taylor, was half-heartedly dragged home due to some personal reasons. She left some unfinished business 5 years ago, and would not want to confront her fears. It allegedly involved Lucy, her former bestfriend, and Henry, her first love. Now that she came back, meeting them was inevitable. But the fact that Taylor knew she was the one at fault before, she had to make some amends and rekindle the friendships.

The summer was just like any summer. Beach, dock, movies under the stars, bicycle rides, flip-flops, kisses, falling stars, ice cream and cake and more. But the best thing about Taylor’s summer was the chance that she got to make all things right. With her family, especially with her dad. I love the scenes when they sneak out to have their quality time, like breakfasts and getting to know each other questions. I really loved that! I was overwhelmed with the fact that they get to say their respective goodbyes. That while facing and accepting death is not an easy thing to handle, the whole family faced it together. They had the best last summer together!

Henry and Lucy and Warren and Gelsey and other sub characters made the story more interesting. I was just quite disappointed on how the revelation of Taylor’s not wanting to go back because of what happened 5 years ago turned out. I just thought it was that silly. But when i come to think of it, it was very Taylor. Because she was this person who always run away when the going gets tough, when life for her becomes hard. It was not a good trait of her, and i hate her for that. She was that coward in every little thing.

This is a story about family. And love between them, between friends, between lovers. This will make you appreciate more the life that you have and the time that you get to spend with your loved ones. Don’t waste opportunities when you can be with your family and friends dear to you. Always show them that you care. Always tell them that you love them. Because no matter how easy going your life maybe now, you don’t know when the time will be up. You don’t want to have regrets in the end.

Over all, the writing is simple and easy to comprehend. The vivid details made you know more about the characters and the setting. The fact that i love the beach and the sun and summer. Plus the fact that i get to learn classic movies to watch out for, Casablanca and the Thin Man. I learn to appreciate the book not only for the story itself but the things i get to learn from it. Now, i know what to do with my lazy coffee bondings with friends and families, get to know more with q & a’s. 🙂

NOW WATCHING CASABLANCA.  Thanks SECOND CHANCE SUMMER for introducing this to me.

I have a full copy here, though.  But i’m sharing you the trailer of the Youtube link, anyway.


My favorite quote:

“Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine. — Rick”

“Awwwww… wait, quick info.  I’ve been to Casablanca, Morocco already. My stay was short and sweet, cultural and of course,  a taste of modern times, year 2006.  Casablanca movie was year 1942, a lot had changed already.  Still, i enjoyed it though.  CLASSIC! — arjaye”

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Angels, angel-bloods.  Humans.  Bonds.  Family.  Love.  Adventure.  Destiny.  Free-will.  Loyalty.  Go0d versus Evil.



“In the beginning, there’s a boy standing in the trees…
Clara Gardner has recently learned that she’s part angel. Having angel blood run through her veins not only makes her smarter, stronger, and faster than humans (a word, she realizes, that no longer applies to her), but it means she has a purpose, something she was put on this earth to do. Figuring out what that is, though, isn’t easy.

Her visions of a raging forest fire and an alluring stranger lead her to a new school in a new town. When she meets Christian, who turns out to be the boy of her dreams (literally), everything seems to fall into place and out of place at the same time. Because there’s another guy, Tucker, who appeals to Clara’s less angelic side.

As Clara tries to find her way in a world she no longer understands, she encounters unseen dangers and choices she never thought she’d have to make between honesty and deceit, love and duty, good and evil. When the fire from her vision finally ignites, will Clara be ready to face her destiny?”—goodreads


angels and angel-bloods. this is just a smooth sailing book with action just in the climax. written good as an introduction to their world, this is quite easy to comprehend. it doesnt bombard you with information overload. dull at times, but curiosity kept me on my toes, just because my first read about angels was a fail at that. so this unearthly, it redeemed the status of angels as one that i would like to know, and explore about. what they can do and what are their purposes interacting literally in the human world. and if they do fall in love with a human, like Carla did with “i will not name yet”, what will happen? say, this a new realm that i want to dive into, not aggressively but calmly. 🙂

and im telling you… the twist at the end, made me question about destiny. 🙂



“For months Clara Gardner trained to face the fire from her visions, but she wasn’t prepared for the choice she had to make that day. And in the aftermath, she discovered that nothing about being part angel is as straightforward as she thought.

Now, torn between her love for Tucker and her complicated feelings about the roles she and Christian seem destined to play in a world that is both dangerous and beautiful, Clara struggles with a shocking revelation: Someone she loves will die in a matter of months. With her future uncertain, the only thing Clara knows for sure is that the fire was just the beginning.”


Boy, i wouldn’t have imagined that this will up a notch.. but it did, in my opinion and in the state of my heart where Ms. Hand left after i closed the last few pages. Hallowed left me almost breathless, though no heavy climax or action needed to support that. Just the feelings of each and every character, enough to put my heart in its most saddest form. Like something was squeezing the life out of it, my heart was tattered and shredded into heavy pieces. Why o why did she have to do it? I had this heaviness since she gave me the scenario of Clara’s next vision right at the first chapter. Imagine the struggle?! I had so many speculations, and i fear for them to happen. I was afraid for it might come true. What she thought of losing might be happening on my next turn of a page. And i dreaded that. Every troubled situation they were in, I prayed that Clara will be as tough as. But when it finally did happen, i cannot say if i am relieved or devastated. I was in denial, for quite a few minutes. After all, the revelations and the happenings and the decisions made were a lot to take in. But It cannot be the end for everything… I refuse to believe that. No matter how righteous everyone’s decision, it just can’t be the end of it. 😦

and i’m telling you… it kept me sullen for quite a few hours, mulling over how this one ended.  it just cannot be that sad!

Bonus: RADIANT (a novella #2.5)


“Clara is desperate to get away—from the memories that haunt her in Wyoming and the visions of a future she isn’t ready to face—and spending the summer in Italy with her best friend, Angela, should be the perfect escape. . . .

For as long as she can remember, Angela has been told that love is dangerous, that she must always guard her heart. But when she met a mysterious guy in Italy two years ago she was determined to be with him, no matter the costs. Now she must decide whether she can trust Clara with her secret, or if telling her the truth will risk everything she cares about.”


THAT summer in Italy.  a nice escape to yes! a quick novella, entertaining to read but not in a “must-to-be” sense. because with or without this facts or infos about angela’s affair with phen, the trilogy will still harbor the same result. after reading, it didn’t alter my opinion on angela or phen’s character. wit or without this RADIANT, the trilogy is complete as it is.



‘The past few years have held more surprises than part-angel Clara Gardner could ever have anticipated. Yet from the dizzying highs of first love, to the agonizing low of losing someone close to her, the one thing she can no longer deny is that she was never meant to live a normal life.

Since discovering the special role she plays among the other angel-bloods, Clara has been determined to protect Tucker Avery from the evil that follows her . . . even if it means breaking both their hearts. Leaving town seems like the best option, so she’s headed back to California – and so is Christian Prescott, the irresistible boy from the vision that started her on this journey in the first place.

As Clara makes her way in a world that is frighteningly new, she discovers that the fallen angel who attacked her is watching her every move. And he’s not the only one. . . . With the battle against the Black Wings looming, Clara knows she must finally fulfill her destiny. But it won’t come without sacrifices and betrayal.”


oooh..what a ride…oops a flight, is more fitting! hehe Angel-blood clara and all her adventures made me like this series more. I can truly say that every thing fits perfectly into its places. the words, the scenes, the characters. not forced, but was presented in a very smooth way. oh i just loved each and one of them. the story itself is quite predictable but boy, there were a lot of times that i never saw things coming. some were sudden and drastic turn of events but flowed smoothly at that, leaving a transition of one feeling to another heartfelt and tugging moments right at the core of your soul. i loved how Ms. Hand played about the love conflicts. it was just the ideal way. and the revelations, they kept on coming without warning. so you were left craving for more of Clara, Christian, Tucker and Jeffrey.

finales can make or break a series. BOUNDLESS passed that stage with flying colors.


I never would have imagined that i would like this series more than i am willing to admit. But i did! I LIKED UNEARTHLY, I FELT FOR HALLOWED, AND BOUNDLESS CLOSED THE DEAL. i may not tell you whom clara ended with, but this i will leave you to think about. “because, he is my home.” now, destiny or not, your guess is as good as mine, when i just started on this. to know how will it happen, that is your quest. But i am a sucker for happy ever afters, i just want you to know that. 🙂

Go, fellow readers, read and find out for yourselves!

As for me, this a good break for scouting for more paranormal angelic readings.. hence, angels redeemed their likable status for me.  Thank you Ms. Cynthia Hand.


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42. HOW TO KILL A ROCKSTAR by Tiffanie Debartolo

Freaking goddamn 5 stars, if i can’t have more!


What’s with these rockstar images that i cannot help to resist in reads like this???

RIDGE of Maybe Someday (Click here for the review), ADAM Of Where She Went (Click here for the review), and now you, PAUL HUDSON of How to Kill a Rockstar.  Given with your good looks, and fine built and charming adorable eyes, dash up some that rough on the edges, that “i dont give a damn” act that you always try to show off, that cool and mysterious exterior that you keep on letting on.  But in real, you are as emotional as the girl next door.  The love for music, just like the air you breathe, deeply immersed on that world as sensitive as you can be.  The longing for that somebody, deep and rich that i wish i am that somebody.  Oh, Paul, Paul, peel that mask off, and let me see the real you.

‘This is the story of Eliza Caelum, a young music journalist, and Paul Hudson, a talented songwriter and lead singer of the band Bananafish. Eliza’s reverence for rock is equaled only by Paul’s, and the two fall wildly in love.

When Bananafish is signed by a big corporate label, and Paul is on his way to becoming a major rock star, Eliza must make a heartbreaking decision that leads to Paul’s sudden disappearance and a surprise knock-your-socks-off ending.—goodreads”

Seriously, this book is awesome, complete and worth reading. All the twists and turns, all those lines, and most of the ‘i never saw that coming’ parts kept me hooked.  All those feels that the characters had given me, that i can barely contain.  Those hopeless romantic, sappy, heart tugging simple moments that made my heart went ballistic, each and every other time.  I am telling you, this excited me, surprised me, confused me, made me hope, crushed me, shattered me, made me hope again, went in-denial, accepted willingly but very grateful in the end.  Pretty sums it all up, in that particular order! But it was all worthy of my time.  I guess, what is meant to happen, will happen,anyway.

Truly, it was a knock-your-socks-off-ending! That moment when you abandon all hope and leave it to fate, whatever comes after those tragedies in life.  Suddenly, there was light, a very bright light! Ahhhhh, life is really full of surprises!  Oh, Tiffanie, thanks for this story.


Please, let me assure you that this one will truly go up the top of your most favorite books.  If that’s not enough, let me relay to you on how they described Paul Hudson.  Maybe, this will convince you to know him more.

“He possesses the heat of a madman, the soul of a hopeful romantic and the voice of a god!”

And Eliza Caelum, she’s the epitomy of the saying,

“whatever you desire, if you put your heart and soul in it, you can conquer your fear and follow all your dreams.”


♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Categories: book review, books | 1 Comment

MOVIE DAY: The Memory Keeper’s Daughter (2008)

Another adaptation.  Another tear-jerker.  Another heart-wrenching book and movie.



I read it late last year.  Click here to read my review.  I got the book from a sale depot in one of the local bookstore back home in the Philippines.  No idea, just armed with the synopsis at the back of the book, I dove into one of the saddest book I’ve ever read.  Heart-tugging at its best, I cannot fathom the burden that all the characters had to endure.

Dr. David Henry, who kept the secret all his life.  He gave away his daughter.

Norah, the wife, who never had any idea of how big the sole decision of his husband put an effect to their marriage and family life.

Caroline Gill, the nurse, an important factor on keeping the secret alive.  Together with Al, the truck driver and the husband, they made it all work out.  Really, there are still many good people with good hearts out there.

Doro, Leo, Rosemary.  Supporting characters that helped shaped their lives.

Paul and Phoebe.  The twins.  They were actually the victims here.



I just stumbled upon this on Youtube.  I never had any idea until 2 hours ago that there is a movie based on this book.  When i saw this, I braced myself for I know that this will bring tears in my eyes, like when i first read the story.




Oh man, it was still a painful one.  Watching them brought me back to the time when i was reading it.  There was hurt, anger, relief, joy.  I felt all of these then, i feel them right now just the same.

My heart went to all the characters, even though i really resented some of their actions.  All took shape with just a quick decision, and a hasty one at that.  How can you do such a thing, Dr. David?! It seems you don’t have a heart. 😦  Good thing that Caroline had such a big heart that she carried all the burdens you dumped on her.  Actually, she thought of it as a gift, one will change her life forever.  I can see that she was very kind and noble.  And because of this, this path led her to her husband to be, who was kind-hearted as well.  Thanks to them, Phoebe was raised and had such a good life.

While the world of Dr.  David went tumbling down, I can see how he regretted his decision and tried to make up for it.  By being a good dad to Paul.  But it was not enough.  You cannot undo the past, especially if you are still living with the secret at the present.  Truly, the truth will set you free.  And i think, if Dr. David did confess at the early stages of their lives, it would make a great difference in their future.

Norah made decisions in life because she felt left-out and neglected, and empty.  Paul had a not so good teenage years, with all those parental problems.  They were deprived of the truth.

And Phoebe, though she was well taken care of, and was surrounded with love and attention, was still deprived of the truth, as well.

Though, they dispensed some of the characters in the book like Doro and Leo and Rosemary, I really didn’t notice since the message of the movie  was clearly and successfully brought about.

The ending in this movie was such an emotional scene.  Despite of all the lost time, no words needed to express how much they were grateful now that the secret was out in the open and a secret no longer.  You can never bring back the past, but the present time, and the future… those were the ones they were trying to focus and to look forward to.

READ AND WATCH.  It wants us to learn one basic fact in our life.

“the truth will set us free”


Categories: book review, books, movie | 4 Comments


Today, i’ve reached that goal.  To read 50 books in 2014.  I know, we are just halfway of the year but i’ve finished my original target.

Screen shot 2014-07-03 at 3.27.51 PM


It was not an easy journey.  Most of the time, work gets in the way.  Add family and friends, too. I am not complaining, you know. haha! But because i love to hang out with them, and i cant do both since I want to concentrate on just one, I tend to leave some of my readings unattended.  I felt bad letting the dog-eared book stay unread for few days.  But hey, i did it! and I want more! So before i re-evaluate my books-to-read goal, I would like to share my first 50.

Some i do love, some so-so, some not my cup of tea, but never will i say some i hate, coz i believe that a book is good as any of the bestsellers out there, just your preference and likings aside.

Here they are!

Screen shot 2014-07-03 at 9.04.44 PMScreen shot 2014-07-03 at 9.05.08 PMScreen shot 2014-07-03 at 9.05.26 PM

From all of these list, here is my top 5, oopps make it 6, so far:

  1. MAYBE SOMEDAY by Colleen Hoover tied with WHERE SHE WENT by Gayle Forman

I was BOOK-HANGOVERED with this two.  Ridge and Adam are quite at the top of my book boyfriends nowadays.  And the story, well-written, not forced, just a good flow that aimed directly straight to the heart.

2.  MAZE RUNNER SERIES by James Dashner

Mainly, ive been waiting to view my Dylan crushie on its movie adaptation come August.  But this action-packed series will never disappoint.  The twists and turns, the problem-solving, the characters, the cliffhangers, arrggghh! need i say more? these books will blow your minds.

3.  ELEANOR & PARK by Rainbow Rowell

Sweet, innocent, engaging, this one melted my heart. young, cheesy, but i just took 10 hours to swallow this whole.. not a page-turner action story that i normally wanted to know what happens next..but the kind of story that you want to leaf those pages after another and another simply because it warms your heart. Park is such a sweetheart!

4.  THE SKY IS EVERYWHERE by Jandy Nelson

I like the book as much as i like eleanor & park. You can really feel the love and bond.  Youve got to read this book.  Lennie and Toby. Big no. Lennie and Joe. Big yes.

5.  THE GIVER by Lois Lowry

The way the story was written was simple and direct. It was actually written as a children’s book but have adult substance.  And this won an award, the 1994 Newbery Medal (The John Newbery award (Medal) given by the Association for Library Service to Children.  “Im the new receiver of memory of this book.”


Since i reached 50…. I AM ADJUSTING MY CHALLENGE THIS 2014 TO 100 BOOKS.

Yay! 50 more books to love and enjoy! I’d better start now… ciao! Happy reading everyone!


Categories: book review, books, happenings | 8 Comments


I cried, when i read the book last year.

I cried, when i watched it just a few minutes ago.

It doesn’t matter if  i met Augustus Waters and Hazel Gray Lancaster in words separated by a year plus a half maybe before i get to see them alive in my eyes.  What matters most is the effect it had on me while reading and watching them.  More so, i waited for another month before i let it be played, because i don’t wanna be just on the “now showing” hype or the bandwagon.  I wanted to really feel the “feels” and to ready myself for such a cry fest or for the attack of the emo-s.  And indeed,  I am not mistaken. I am telling you, the impact is the same.  It hit me BIGTIME, like when i read them the first time.



The story for me is not only about grief, not only about even pity for those who have life threatening sickness such as cancer.  It is not only about on how to cope up with the loss of a loved-one or the journey of life for those who were running out of time for it.

For me, it’s more of a story about HOPE.  That in this world we live in, no matter how unfair, devastating, cruel and tragic the situations we are in, we find hope.  In love and friendship and family. Because of hope we build the courage, find strength, conquer fears and pain and experience joy and the source of happiness and fulfillment no matter what.  Because of hope, we live in this world with a purpose, not thinking about the grandest gesture but to even just make one person smile.  I think, it is enough.

I really like Hazel and Gus.  They made themselves perfect for each other despite for their imperfect world.  


“You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world…but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices.”


“Maybe ‘okay’ will be our ‘always”


“It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.”



“You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I’m grateful.”


“You say you’re not special because the world doesn’t know about you, but that’s an insult to me. I know about you.”



“I will not tell you our love story, because-like all real love stories-it will die with us,as it should.”


And that last letter of Gus… it breaks my heart, every time!

Van Houten,

I’m a good person but a shitty writer. You’re a shitty person but a good writer. We’d make a good team. I don’t want to ask you any
favors, but if you have time—and from what I saw, you have plenty—I was wondering if you could write a eulogy for Hazel. I’ve got
notes and everything, but if you could just make it into a coherent whole or whatever? Or even just tell me what I should say differently.

Here’s the thing about Hazel: Almost everyone is obsessed with leaving a mark upon the world. Bequeathing a legacy. Outlasting death.
We all want to be remembered. I do, too. That’s what bothers me most, is being another unremembered casualty in the ancient and
inglorious war against disease.

I want to leave a mark.

But Van Houten: The marks humans leave are too often scars. You build a hideous minimall or start a coup or try to become a rock star
and you think, “They’ll remember me now,” but (a) they don’t remember you, and (b) all you leave behind are more scars. Your coup
becomes a dictatorship. Your minimall becomes a lesion.

(Okay, maybe I’m not such a shitty writer. But I can’t pull my ideas together, Van Houten. My thoughts are stars I can’t fathom into

We are like a bunch of dogs squirting on fire hydrants. We poison the groundwater with our toxic piss, marking everything MINE in a
ridiculous attempt to survive our deaths. I can’t stop pissing on fire hydrants. I know it’s silly and useless—epically useless in my current
state—but I am an animal like any other.

Hazel is different. She walks lightly, old man. She walks lightly upon the earth. Hazel knows the truth: We’re as likely to hurt the universe
as we are to help it, and we’re not likely to do either.

People will say it’s sad that she leaves a lesser scar, that fewer remember her, that she was loved deeply but not widely. But it’s not sad,
Van Houten. It’s triumphant. It’s heroic. Isn’t that the real heroism? Like the doctors say: First, do no harm.

The real heroes anyway aren’t the people doing things; the real heroes are the people NOTICING things, paying attention. The guy who
invented the smallpox vaccine didn’t actually invent anything. He just noticed that people with cowpox didn’t get smallpox.

After my PET scan lit up, I snuck into the ICU and saw her while she was unconscious. I just walked in behind a nurse with a badge and I
got to sit next to her for like ten minutes before I got caught. I really thought she was going to die before I could tell her that I was going
to die, too. It was brutal: the incessant mechanized haranguing of intensive care. She had this dark cancer water dripping out of her
chest. Eyes closed. Intubated. But her hand was still her hand, still warm and the nails painted this almost black dark blue and I just held
her hand and tried to imagine the world without us and for about one second I was a good enough person to hope she died so she
would never know that I was going, too. But then I wanted more time so we could fall in love. I got my wish, I suppose. I left my scar.

A nurse guy came in and told me I had to leave, that visitors weren’t allowed, and I asked if she was doing okay, and the guy said, “She’s
still taking on water.” A desert blessing, an ocean curse.

What else? She is so beautiful. You don’t get tired of looking at her. You never worry if she is smarter than you: You know she is. She is
funny without ever being mean. I love her. I am so lucky to love her, Van Houten. You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world,
old man, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices. I hope she likes hers.

I do, Augustus.
I do.

Categories: book review, books, favorite lines, movie, quotes | Tags: , , , | 4 Comments

41. WHERE SHE WENT by Gayle Forman (If I Stay #2)


They say, it’s lonely at the top.
I say, not with you by my side.
We can pluck out the moon and the stars,
Together, as we kiss in the shining moonlight.

But funny, life, oh so it seems,
That when i finally reached my dream.
I stretch out my hand for you to hold,
I gasped, no longer there, just air, biting cold!

Where he went, i keep on repeating.
Where he went, my heart wants to stop beating.
Where he went, as i close my eyes,
Where he went, oh where is my goodbye?

They say, it’s so lonely at the top.
I believe, because i’m just at that.
What use am i being here,
Just take me, and let’s dive in that cold empty sphere.

Where HE went-track 1
OBLIVION (my album-to-be)
Or better yet DELUSION

Nope. Adam is not here. I made that up, since in real life, i am my own Adam Wilde. Minus the fame and the meds and the rockstar image, i really can relate. This book got into me, Big time! Three years and still wondering what happened, what went wrong. That is so cruel. This is my own version of where she went. But unlike Adam, he got his answers at the very end, at least. Me, still up in the air. I just really don’t want to care. Enough!

The Book

Yes, if you read If I Stay, by the same author, you can pick up from where the story left off. If not, i strongly advise to get it right before you turn that pages over. Read so you can get the full history. Bits and pieces will not do any good, though this time, Adam’s narrating his POV, not Mia.

Yes, Mia stayed. Despite all those tragedies in her prime, she battled it out, and she chose to stay. But where she went after? New York was the literal response since becoming a professional cellist is her biggest dream and Juilliard School is in New York. Off she went, took a plane never looked back. And Adam, Adam do not know where to pick up all the pieces. No signs, no clues, no breadcrumbs, no Mia. Mia really stands for her name, Missing In Action.

I remember Adam being Mia’s loyal boyfriend. When she was still fighting for her life in that hospital bed in Oregon, he was her lifeline. He loves her and would do anything, everything, just to make her stay. And stay, she did. But after few months of recovery, she had a change of heart. Why? I cannot tell you why. But i am telling you this, Adam felt so devastated. His world shattered, his heart smashed into pieces. But what was surprising was Mia who caused this broken heart of his was the one who revived not his heart, but his musical dreams. Full of not so happy emotions, he focused on the anger and depression through making lyrics. Then, together with his band, they spiraled into the world of rock and roll. Instant stardom, money and fame. He had it all, even women. He really live up to his name Adam “the Wildman” Wilde.

Despite all the world can offer, he still felt empty and we know why. MIA. Mia whose performing that same night in New York, his last before he traveled to London. I knew it, Adam cant resist the opportunity to see her even from a distance, so he went.

Meeting her was not at an option, much more talking and spending the night with her. But that night sealed the deal. That night was the night of explaining, understanding and closure. That night, Adam got his answers. And that night, he was the one to choose to stay or let go.

For the sake of Adam, i tried not hating Mia so much. I tried to understand. At one point, i failed.

A heart-wrenching tale at that, i am assuring you. I cried! Buckets and buckets for pain, confusion, memories, disappointments, regrets, tearful and happy ones too. What made it worse, i listened to Adam. His voice or that voice over the audiobook was truly a heartbreaker. I sympathized with him, i suffered. But most of all, i fell in love. Got that? Deeply. I fell in love with a rockstar! 🙂

Waiting for your one true love, even if it hurts, rarely happens these days. And Adam did that for Mia. I cant fathom how big is his love. But i wish, oh i really wish there are more of you, Adam Wilde, in the world i live in. I would love to be loved by you! ❤ ❤ ❤

— “But i’d do it again. I know that now. I’d make that promise a thousand times over and lose her a thousand times over to have heard her play last night or to see her in the morning sunlight. Or even without that. Just to know that she’s somewhere out there. Alive.— Adam”

— “Hate me. Devastate me. Annihilate me. Re-create me. Re-create me. Won’t you, re-create me.” —

— “Her hands are freezing, just like they always were, so i warmed them, just like i always did. – Adam” —

— “You don’t share me. You own me. -Adam” —

— “You made me stay!- Mia” —

This one goes straight to my favorites! No question, no doubt!


Categories: book review, books, favorite lines, quotes | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

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