Posts Tagged With: if i stay

41. WHERE SHE WENT by Gayle Forman (If I Stay #2)


They say, it’s lonely at the top.
I say, not with you by my side.
We can pluck out the moon and the stars,
Together, as we kiss in the shining moonlight.

But funny, life, oh so it seems,
That when i finally reached my dream.
I stretch out my hand for you to hold,
I gasped, no longer there, just air, biting cold!

Where he went, i keep on repeating.
Where he went, my heart wants to stop beating.
Where he went, as i close my eyes,
Where he went, oh where is my goodbye?

They say, it’s so lonely at the top.
I believe, because i’m just at that.
What use am i being here,
Just take me, and let’s dive in that cold empty sphere.

Where HE went-track 1
OBLIVION (my album-to-be)
Or better yet DELUSION

Nope. Adam is not here. I made that up, since in real life, i am my own Adam Wilde. Minus the fame and the meds and the rockstar image, i really can relate. This book got into me, Big time! Three years and still wondering what happened, what went wrong. That is so cruel. This is my own version of where she went. But unlike Adam, he got his answers at the very end, at least. Me, still up in the air. I just really don’t want to care. Enough!

The Book

Yes, if you read If I Stay, by the same author, you can pick up from where the story left off. If not, i strongly advise to get it right before you turn that pages over. Read so you can get the full history. Bits and pieces will not do any good, though this time, Adam’s narrating his POV, not Mia.

Yes, Mia stayed. Despite all those tragedies in her prime, she battled it out, and she chose to stay. But where she went after? New York was the literal response since becoming a professional cellist is her biggest dream and Juilliard School is in New York. Off she went, took a plane never looked back. And Adam, Adam do not know where to pick up all the pieces. No signs, no clues, no breadcrumbs, no Mia. Mia really stands for her name, Missing In Action.

I remember Adam being Mia’s loyal boyfriend. When she was still fighting for her life in that hospital bed in Oregon, he was her lifeline. He loves her and would do anything, everything, just to make her stay. And stay, she did. But after few months of recovery, she had a change of heart. Why? I cannot tell you why. But i am telling you this, Adam felt so devastated. His world shattered, his heart smashed into pieces. But what was surprising was Mia who caused this broken heart of his was the one who revived not his heart, but his musical dreams. Full of not so happy emotions, he focused on the anger and depression through making lyrics. Then, together with his band, they spiraled into the world of rock and roll. Instant stardom, money and fame. He had it all, even women. He really live up to his name Adam “the Wildman” Wilde.

Despite all the world can offer, he still felt empty and we know why. MIA. Mia whose performing that same night in New York, his last before he traveled to London. I knew it, Adam cant resist the opportunity to see her even from a distance, so he went.

Meeting her was not at an option, much more talking and spending the night with her. But that night sealed the deal. That night was the night of explaining, understanding and closure. That night, Adam got his answers. And that night, he was the one to choose to stay or let go.

For the sake of Adam, i tried not hating Mia so much. I tried to understand. At one point, i failed.

A heart-wrenching tale at that, i am assuring you. I cried! Buckets and buckets for pain, confusion, memories, disappointments, regrets, tearful and happy ones too. What made it worse, i listened to Adam. His voice or that voice over the audiobook was truly a heartbreaker. I sympathized with him, i suffered. But most of all, i fell in love. Got that? Deeply. I fell in love with a rockstar! 🙂

Waiting for your one true love, even if it hurts, rarely happens these days. And Adam did that for Mia. I cant fathom how big is his love. But i wish, oh i really wish there are more of you, Adam Wilde, in the world i live in. I would love to be loved by you! ❤ ❤ ❤

— “But i’d do it again. I know that now. I’d make that promise a thousand times over and lose her a thousand times over to have heard her play last night or to see her in the morning sunlight. Or even without that. Just to know that she’s somewhere out there. Alive.— Adam”

— “Hate me. Devastate me. Annihilate me. Re-create me. Re-create me. Won’t you, re-create me.” —

— “Her hands are freezing, just like they always were, so i warmed them, just like i always did. – Adam” —

— “You don’t share me. You own me. -Adam” —

— “You made me stay!- Mia” —

This one goes straight to my favorites! No question, no doubt!


Categories: book review, books, favorite lines, quotes | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

24. IF I STAY by Gayle Forman

I read the book then i watch the trailer.

That is how i approach movie adaptations these days.  Actually, that is my rule, if i can help it.

With a lot of books coming alive on the big screen, we can’t help but to compare.  And in my opinion, I always prefer to read the story first, then see it in my imagination, build its way to my emotions, experience the feelings first-hand, then finally, watch its reflection through my own eyes.





A story about love, family, choices, happiness. It is about living, dying, fighting and accepting. i was teary eyed on most parts but because i was already prepped for the drama when the major heartbreaking scene was presented to me not even past 10 pages. So i kind of expected a lot of crying and such will be involved.  I knew it will revolve on the “should i stay or should i go” premise, thus the title, but still i cant help but to be touched on how i saw the life of Mia, relived through her own eyes. Death will always be a painful topic to tackle, no matter how you approach it in a story, most especially if it is about the loved-one’s. But here, we saw two sides, both from the one having the dilemma and the people she will be leaving behind.  How kind words are that powerful to influence one’s decision, knowingly or unknowingly heard. This story gave me some unforgettable lines which in honesty, i didn’t recognize how big the impact was until i heard them uttered in the first trailer courtesy of

This is where now the movie adaptation enters.

THE MOVIE (Trailer)

I already finished the book but the movie will still be out on August.  I already knew how it ended, in its written-form, but still wondering how well it will be played visually.  Saw the characters portrayed by the actor and actresses i am  familiar with.  I even remembered the resemblance on one of the most acclaimed love story in the movie industry during the 90’s. Unchained melody, ringing a bell??

Few more months of waiting till we see and hear Mia actually plays the cello.  Till we witness Adam making Mia fall in love with him, despite the differences.  Till we meet Mom, Dad, Teddy, Gran, Gramps and Kim.  Julliard, Shooting Star, Yo-yo Ma, punks, hipsters, musicians.  Till our hearts break into pieces, ‘coz you have to choose: to stay or to let go.

As i watch the trailer over and over again, i can’t help but succumbed to these words… much more heart-felt when you hear them spoken.

“Sometimes you make choices in life and sometimes choices make you.”
“The you you are now is the same you I was in love with yesterday and the same you I’ll be in love with tomorrow.”
“Here’s the secret, baby: if you live; if you die; it’s all up to you.”

“I can’t lose her.”
“I’m still here. And I’m still crazy in love with you. Please stay.”


And the soundtrack…. it blew me away! The lyrics ever fitting…. SAY SOMETHING by Great Big World.

Categories: book review, books, movie | Tags: , , , , | 4 Comments

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